helen-louise
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Today's Questionable Content is absolutely squeesome.

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Current Mood: seriously cuted

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Today we are sad because Alba, the disabled wolf at the UK Wolf Conservation Trust, has died. He broke his back 4.5 years ago (the vertebra concerned was equivalent in a human to the one that left Christopher Reeve paralysed) but was nursed back to health and was able to walk with a pronounced twist in his back and severe limp. This winter, the staff at the wolf park were concerned that his nerve damage seemed to be getting worse, and on January 23rd he eventually became completely paralysed in his hind legs and unable to stand. As there is no such thing as a wolf wheelchair and wolves need to be physically active to enjoy life, the decision was made to put him down.

I'll post photos of Alba when Richard gets round to getting them off his camera and uploading them somewhere!

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Current Mood: sad

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There are lots of things that I could/should write about, but I frankly haven't got enough spare energy. I've been suffering from moderately bad chronic fatigue, then a cold, and I'm still chasing up college paperwork. My prediction of February for the student card is correct: as of today, I was told "once we have received payment and your status has been changed to E[nrolled] I will be able to print your ID card and send it out to you. [...] let me know when you have made the payment". I am thoroughly confused because Richard handed in the forms on Monday authorising the college to take payment from his account, and the person from Registry who emailed me acknowledged receipt of that paperwork. I/we can make the payment online, but we were under the impression that handing in those forms would make the payment happen. So we're wondering what on earth is going on.

In better news, my Individual Student Support Agreement is now finished and approved by the Disability Office, and has been sent to the departmental administrator for circulation. I'm suspecting that it won't actually make it to everyone who needs to see it, though. Fortunately, I have a copy myself and can always send it to people if necessary. I still need to write an email "with as much detail as possible" to sort out the issue I have regarding the twice-weekly semi-compulsory meetings at UCL; currently impossible for me to attend without a lot of spoons since you need a UCL swipe card in order to use the lifts in that building. (Even getting into the building requires steps, though I found a secret step-free entrance today. Not sure whether it's always open - it looks like the way in for deliveries/building maintenance people rather than students/academic staff). I've tried doing the stairs and it made me non-functional the following day. Today I managed it by simply asking random strangers with UCL swipe cards to operate the lift for me, but that takes spoons in itself. Apparently it should be possible for Birkbeck Disability Office to liaise with UCL Disability Office to get me access, but having to organise that is more spoons lost. "Normal"/"healthy"/non-disabled people simply do not get how much damn energy and enthusiasm a person loses in having to arrange basic physical access to resources/buildings - to say nothing of the extra emotional support needed in order to study with unseen disabilities such as mental ill health. It's taken me essentially a month to get to a state of 90% sorted with regard to access & support - and this is in a university with extremely good disabled students support!!

My new Needs Assessment for Disabled Students Allowance is booked for 4.30pm on Friday 12th February, at Roehampton with the same assessor I saw before. Hoping for a really positive outcome. Certainly I have a case for a new laptop, as mine is 5 years old and really slow and suffering of late. Meeting Philip and Katherine (my two supervisors) this Friday to discuss the specification of a computer that I need in order to run college-licensed software and access supercomputers remotely from home. (Wondering if I might be better off with a Mac than a PC - scary thought, that. I'm not really a "Windows person", but I'm definitely not a "Mac person" - [info]meeping & I have horrible memories of the old Macs in the chemistry department at Imperial).

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Current Mood: exhausted

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I have bought a Magical Bag of Panda Squee! Not from this website, but it's the same product. A PandaRama bag, size Medium, by Morn Creations. It is the cutest thing ever.

The company is really going for the veg*n market, because they refuse to use animal products as part of their advocacy towards endangered species.

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Current Mood: happy

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From today's innocent newsletter: Green sea slug makes chlorophyll like a plant. Apparently once the super green sea slug, Elysia chlorotica, has eaten its favorite algae, Vaucheria litorea, it never needs to eat again as long as it has access to light, water and carbon dioxide! It has acquired the genes for the chemical pathway to manufacture chlorophyll A, and these genes have shown up even in unhatched slugs that have (obviously) never eaten algae.

THIS IS AWESOME! Behold our new guru and spiritual leader!

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Current Mood: excited

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For those of you who were wondering about the woman with the Science Genius Girl tattoo, I have a message from [info]lizenthusiasm:
Actually, Sean tracked her down on Facebook! He wanted to get a better-quality photo from her since the one online was all blurry. And no, she didn't know about us, she just saw one of our pins somewhere. Which is still kinda awesome.

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I would be really excited if I could start work on my PhD. I've been in college lots over the past couple of weeks, but all I've done can be summarised in three easy sentences:
1) Going to meetings.
2) Chasing up paperwork.
3) Shouting at people about disability stuff.

Basically:
Getting my registration paperwork has been a nightmare, possibly due to starting at a weird time of the academic year. Everything seems to involve three times as much bureaucracy as it should. I actually had paperwork in my hand on Friday, but after noticing the fees were twice what I was expecting I discovered it was for full-time study rather than part-time. And I couldn't just correct it myself, and they couldn't correct it on the spot even though I could have produced my offer letter from the department.

At this rate it'll be February before I have a student card, which is not pleasing me.

Also, Student Finance England are absolute numpties. Read more... )

And to make sure that no one in the School of Biological Sciences can turn around and say "we didn't know about [fill in the blank]", I've spent quite a lot of hours updating my Individual Student Support Agreement to cover being on a research course. This has involved Mark and Steve in the Disability Office, Caroline my Disability Mentor, Philip my supervisor, Richard my partner... It's still only 2/3 complete.

Paperwork. I hate paperwork! All this being proactive and making sure my needs are being taken care of eats up spoons that I should be using for... actual studying. I'm working along the lines that it's an investment now for much less hassle in the future, but it's hard to keep that in mind when you're two weeks into term and have done no work yet.

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Current Mood: tired

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Three snippets of recent conversation:

Richard (getting dressed & pulling clean underwear out of a drawer): "I think these pants have had it. Look at the elastic! It's not elastic any more, it's undergoing plastic deformation!".

Me: "Hooke's Law in action!"


Tim (coming into our room as we were getting up): "Oh, you've got the big bear in bed with you!".

Richard (rolling over sleepily): "This is my bed! I always sleep here!".

Tim: "Perhaps I should have said 'the big bear (white)', to distinguish him from any big bears (brown)".


Peter (talking about somewhere they'd eaten recently): "It's quite a smart pub. They have games. We drank a bottle of wine and played Scrabble."

Tim: "Only the pieces were muddled up like they came from several different sets."

Peter: "So you could draw a Q and put it on the board, and then draw another Q."

Tim: "There was one tile which was the same size as a normal Scrabble tile, but had letters on both sides. And another one which was 1/4 of the size of a normal Scrabble tile, with the number 4 on it."

Richard: "For all of those words with a 4 in, obviously."

Tim: Maybe it was from a set of Chemistry Scrabble!

Richard: "You could have double and triple atom score, and double and triple bond score..."

Tim: "But would you be allowed free radicals? That's the question."

Me: "I don't think so. Anything can be a radical - CH3 dot would be too cheaty. It would have to be actual molecules and compounds only."

Richard: "You'd be screwed if you drew helium, though."

Me: "I guess it would have to be no Noble Gases."

Richard: "It would be even better if it used organic notation with all those zigzag lines. You'd be able to add a benzene ring to the end of any atom on the board!"

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Current Mood: amused

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I have no idea what my body is doing any more.

Went to bed about 4 am on Saturday morning - slept until 1 pm, called to cancel my student as I was brain dead (feel very guilty about this as she'd ALREADY LEFT). Then zonked out again until Peter phoned at about 4.30pm to say "We're outside your house - are you there?". Discovered Richard was totally unconscious next to me with Zs coming out of him. Dragged myself up, put lights on, got dressed etc. Was social.

Then about 11.30pm I came over all weak and feeble, lay down on the sofa "for a minute" and almost fell asleep there and then. Eventually staggered off to bed about 11.55pm. Zonked out. Woke up at 1 pm on Sunday.

So let's just go through this again: I slept for 12.5 hours on Friday night/Saturday morning, was awake for 7.5 hours, then slept for another 13 hours. Um.

I know I have chronic fatigue, and I know I've been pushing myself a bit hard lately with going back to college and meetings on too many days of the week, but honestly? That is ridiculous.

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Current Mood: exhausted

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Mystery bear is no longer a mystery. It's a clear case of identity theft, or fraud.

Some asswipe has ordered £278.30 worth of crap using my name and address details, and £277.28 worth of crap using Richard's. To get around the company's requirement that the first shipment must go to the same name and address that you've registered with, they sent us the ugly soft toys. And then the rest of the stuff has gone to them. The stuff ordered in Richard's name is especially hilarious, including 2 Chelsea shirts and 1 Man United shirt - allegedly ordered by one of the most anti-football men I've ever met!

You'd have thought that in a world full of identity theft and online fraud that the company would wait for payment for the first shipment before allowing a person to order any more stuff! Apparently not. Also, I didn't actually realise that it was possible to buy items online using credit set up with the seller, rather than using a credit card issued by a bank. That seems rather anachronistic, considering.

Grrr.

Apparently the address where all these £59 Fred Perry, Ben Sherman and Hilfiger shirts have gone is an address that the company "is currently investigating". If this turns out to be part of a mass fraud, I hope the bastards get what they deserve, which must at least include confiscation of the stolen nasty clothes and an exchange for fashionable prison wear :P

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Current Mood: grumpy

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Today I have been looking at Geeky Tattoos. Then [info]rowan_leigh pointed me at Science Tattoo Emporium. Some of the tattoos are supremely awesome and come with a deep personal story, others are just.. boggling.

The one that I am most utterly bemused by though is the woman who has Freezepop's Science Genius Girl logo tattooed on her leg and doesn't even know that's what it is. She thinks it's "the international symbol for woman chemist". Well, maybe it should be the international symbol for female chemists, but it isn't yet - it's a logo designed for a record cover! Of course, it is an awesome design - but if I were ever to get it tattooed on myself it would be partly because I'm a female chemist and partly to commemorate my deep love of Freezepop.

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Current Mood: indescribable

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I am really very confused. Someone, as yet unknown, has sent Richard & I presents (?) from Mamas and Papas. There is no invoice, delivery note or gift receipt to say who it is from. And the company/products are clearly aimed at babies and people having babies. We are not reproducing anytime soon!

There is a Crumble Bear Soft Toy and a Zeddy and Parsnip Pyjama Case. At a combined cost of £32.40 it seems rather expensive for a prank. Also I can't think who, other than someone with a baby, would buy us soft toys from a baby shop, rather than Beanie Babies or something like that.

If you know anything about this, please tell me/us because we have no idea what's going on! Thank you.

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Current Mood: confused

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Do I know anyone who's a member of the Royal Institution? I'm quite interested in this talk: Quest for the holy grail of bipolar disorder: a better lithium, but it's members and their guests only. The grade of membership that gives free admittance to the Friday evening talks is £95 p.a., and the type where you have to pay £10 to attend the talks is £30 p.a. They don't apparently do a student membership, only reductions for 14-25 year olds. I am mildly grumpy about this.

There is also The great ideas of biology which sounds interesting.

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Current Mood: curious

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How do I add someone from Dreamwidth as a livejournal friend? Is the FAQ about OpenID still accurate? I thought it was now possible to add someone as Username@LivejournalCloneSite, rather than as ext_number.

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Current Mood: curious

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I have an infected sore on my left thigh! It was a hair follicle once - now it is a huge red bump with violet streaks and blood oozing out. It actually looked bad enough today that the doctor winced when I showed it to her. So I have hardcore antibiotics (ampicillin + flucloxacillin). This is awesome from a medicinal chemistry point of view. The flucloxacillin is for β-lactamase-producing bacteria such as staphylococci (though it doesn't work on MRSA), and the ampicillin is for non-β-lactamase-producing bacteria such as streptococci. Or so says Wikipedia anyway - my microbiological knowledge is rather non-existent.

I also have yet another itchy intertrigal rash where my legs meet my body. One of these days I will learn that if I take a bath rather than a shower, I have to wash that area separately afterwards. Otherwise yeasts and bacteria that live harmlessly on other parts of my body get in there and cause irritation. Wow, this post is filled with TMI.

I didn't even get into the extreme itchy patch on my head. I thought that was enough disgusting skin issues for one day. Besides, the thing on my head is most likely eczema or something else mundane.

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Went to college today. Saw my Disability Mentor, and Steve in the Disability Office. Arranged a meeting to get my Individual Student Support Agreement (ISSA) updated to be relevant to my new course/status. Saw Philip, who was pleased to see me (!), and arranged a proper meeting with him on Friday. Went to a lecture on Organic Synthesis of which I understood absolutely everything, including all the bits that I never understood before. Sat there guessing the answers before he said them, and got them all right - including a bonus bit of nucleophilic addition-elimination which I saw well before he talked about it. Feel like my brain might actually be working again! (The last time I studied organic synthesis in any shape or form was the summer of 1996, so I do feel quite clever).

It's quite amazing how out-of-sorts I've felt in the six months or so between finishing my last piece of formal work for the diploma and starting formal college work again. I've been reading journal papers at home for a couple of months; but there's a gap nonetheless, which no amount of work for money or work by myself can breach. Having some sort of focus, support and direction makes me feel like I have a purpose to my whole life, rather than just existing.

I'm even having a certain amount of sympathy with the student of mine who's resitting A-levels while working part-time in a department store and doing voluntary work to improve her university prospects. I've been annoyed at her for her apparent lack of effort (why spend money on having tutorials if you aren't going to do any work of your own inbetween lessons?). But today I realised how different my own attitude and ability to get on have been at home compared to in college. No longer sure I can blame her for finding it so difficult to get useful work done.

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Current Mood: thoughtful

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Also, because I was feeling so wretched and lonely, we actually went out on New Year's Eve! This is a big thing if you consider that a) I don't celebrate new year at this time of year, b) the horrendous train journey we had 3 years ago.

I wanted to go out for dinner to my favourite vegan (indeed, *favourite*) restaurant, 222, for several reasons - not least of all that they're within easy reach of Clapham Junction station (train takes 8 minutes) and both of the parties I was aware of are also reached via CLJ. But 222 turned out to be closed. Or at least not answering the phone on several occasions, which given that they usually pick up within 4 rings rather implied closure... So I came up with plan B to go to my second-favourite vegan restaurant, inSpiral, where they do lasagna to die for! But although they were open, they were turning into a loud hippy-music disco at 10pm, and it was just before 8 when we left the house. We then got stuck at Wimbledon for half an hour due to "a fight" on the train where "blood had been spilled" and "police were in attendance". By the time we got to Waterloo, it was 8.52pm and the likelihood of getting up to Camden in time for food seemed slim to none. So we ended up going with plan C, which was our favourite Indian vegetarian restaurant, Chutney's, near Euston. We had potato bonda (mashed potato fried in chickpea flour), aloo tikki chat without yogurt (fried potato on chickpea curry), vegan thali C (a mixed platter of vegetable curries with lentil dhal, rice and breads) and some sort of dosa (didn't pay attention as I wasn't eating it). Om nom nom.

Then we went to [info]hatter & [info]bfo's party, which was relatively quiet with only a few guests. We got there just in time for the fireworks, for which I was equipped with earplugs (to block out noise) and a scarf (to block out smoke), and by standing well upwind and further away than everyone else I almost enjoyed them! We didn't really know any of the other people there, but had met one of them a few times before, and everyone was nice except one guy who was obnoxiously drunk. He went to sleep on the floor fairly early on, so after that it was fine. Also one guy called Mike seemed to be a clone of [info]mjl - had the same sort of nose, face and voice, and the same sense of humour. It was scary! The night bus home was actually fairly pleasant (!) - no one talking loudly, fighting or exuding bodily fluids. So that was good, and my social bar is no longer bleeding red (joke only makes sense to people who play The Sims).

And today we went to 222 and had the meal we would have had on New Year's Eve had they been open. Today it was asparagus soup, garlic bread, carrot tart with roast potatoes, broccoli and tomato sauce (for me), tofu medallion spaghetti (for Richard), apricot and almond cake (for me) and apple crumble (for Richard). Om nom nom, again.

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I am sitting on a train on my way to eat dinner, and I thought I'd “catch up” with all the livejournal entries I've been writing in my head over the past few days. Unfortunately it seems that being on a train inhibits my ability to write about Difficult Things (TM), which rather negates the point of bringing the laptop. Hmm. Also, it seems that the “t” key is experiencing serious issues, in that I hit it and it only registers 50% of the time. I suspect crumbs in the keyboard, not that I ever eat over my laptop or use it in lieu of a plate *cough*...

I have been miserable for a good few weeks now, owing to the severe lack of daylight. This has not been helped by the fact my sleep patterns have completely inverted and I have been falling asleep around 7 am (!) and mostly unable to get out of bed before 5 pm (!!). The problem is that having Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, the usual techniques for restoring a normal sleep-wake cycle don't work. Read more... )

Through application of SCIENCE to the problem, I've discovered that it's not just my sleep-wake cycle but other circadian rhythms that get messed up. The reason why I can't wake up too much earlier is because my body temperature is too low. Usually, it's spot on 37.0 °C while I'm awake, but “too early” it can be as low as 36.3 °C. Okay, that doesn't sound like much of a difference – but we are homiothermic and our body temperature does only vary within a degree or so. If I am ill and have a mild fever of only 37.5°C, my brain feels “fried” and it takes serious effort for me to think. Clearly my brain is highly sensitive to temperature changes.

I need to get a) a lamp so I can have the abnormally bright “blue” lightbulb above my eyes in the mornings without it also being the main light source in the bedroom (as it bothered EVERYONE else who came to the house while it was installed, and is way too stimulating for me at night time), and b) some yellow ski goggles (research has shown that people with DSPS and bipolar II may be oversensitive to blue light, so should wear yellow filters when watching TV or using a computer in the evenings to avoid the light keeping them awake). This requires a) motivation and b) going into a ski shop. I'm not sure how this is to be achieved, considering that motivation requires... oooh, getting enough sleep and hours of sunlight.

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I had several important/interesting posts to write, but you're not going to get one today. No, all you're going to get is this announcement:

PERIOD PAIN IS HORRIBLE!

Ugh.

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This video is making the news: HP Computers are racist. "Black Desi" and "White Wanda" show what happens when they move in front of a new HP laptop with a face recognition camera. The camera moves to track the light-skinned woman, but does not move for the dark-skinned man - even when he gets close.

Of course, the computers aren't really racist - it's a technology problem to do with lighting and shadows. Kudos for the video makers in pointing out the issue without losing their sense of humour. Still, you have to wonder - do technology companies not think to routinely test out "people recognition" technologies with people of many different appearances? including different ages, races, and the disabled, whose faces may not move in a typical way? If not, why not? If technology doesn't work in the same way for everyone, then it is a sort of racism by omission or lack of thought. Unintentional, but hurtful nonetheless.

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helen-louise
User: [info]baratron
Name: helen-louise
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