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Advice needed: Wedding rings. - helen-louise
baratron
baratron
Advice needed: Wedding rings.
I need opinions.

I "don't like rings". (This is very possibly a psychological hangup from a previous failed relationship, since as an ethical polyamorous person I have no need to hide my relationship status). I always said that if I got a wedding ring, it would live on a pendant rather than on my finger.

I have seen the most amazingly geeky, amazingly me, wedding ring in the history of the universe ever. I could link to it, but:
a) I'm trying to make this an abstract discussion.
b) if I don't get it, then I don't want the link left here.
c) it's so awesome that I'm actually kinda worried that someone else would buy it for themselves.

It is actually so incredibly awesome that I wouldn't get rid of it if, gods forbid, our relationship broke up. I'd just move it to another finger.

It would also look good as a pendant.

It is US $1600, for recycled platinum and recycled and/or ethically traded diamonds. That is $TERRIFYING_BIG_NUMBER, but not actually bad by the standards of platinum jewellery. (Platinum wedding-type rings start at £1000 and go up to £3000+. I'm pretty amazed to be able to find a platinum AND DIAMOND ring for just shy of £1000).

Of course, it is also available in cheaper metals, but I hate yellow gold. (Sadly, I have several yellow gold rings from when I was younger - I need to figure out if I'm going to sell them, or get the stones placed into other jewellery and recycle the metal...). Silver, white gold and palladium are all available.

Questions:
a) Should I get it?
b) How do people reconcile themselves to walking around with THAT MUCH MONEY on their finger?

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Current Mood: indescribable indescribable

19 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
barakta From: barakta Date: 9th November 2011 19:57 (UTC) (Link)
If you want it, can afford it and it would make you happy however that may be then why not - go for it.

At the end of the day I reckon each to their own and whatever makes you feel special.

I walk around with about £3000 in my head in the form of two hearing aids. One of them repeatedly gets knocked out so I tend not to wear it outside. I wear neither in the rain and am a tad paranoid about both of them. It helps with only 1 that I know if it's fallen out cos it goes CLUNK whatever it's on/off state is and if off I suddenly lose amplification. I don't wear either in crowded places.

You can get safety chains for bracelets and might be ale to get one for a decent pendant too - ask any decent jeweller what they would recommend. And of course you can insure it.
baratron From: baratron Date: 9th November 2011 23:33 (UTC) (Link)
I've never heard of anyone getting mugged for their hearing aid, though :/

I'm also worried about taking it off to wash my hands and losing it/forgetting it/having it stolen.

I'd worry about it less as a pendant rather than a ring because you don't have to take pendants off several times per day for hygiene reasons.
barakta From: barakta Date: 10th November 2011 13:56 (UTC) (Link)
School was a bit of a "lets trash barakta's hearing aid" every day but since then my fear as mostly been it getting knocked out which is more likely with my aid than usual ones.

I dislike rings cos of the handwashing and also my knuckles are bigger than the finger above/below the knuckle on my good hand - I blame my dad, his hands are exactly the same.

A pendant round your neck sound much better and can be hidden so less likely to get you mugged for it.
epi_lj From: epi_lj Date: 9th November 2011 20:34 (UTC) (Link)
a) Yes.
b) If you have the money for it, and it would make you happy, then that's all the justification you need. It doesn't matter what *form* the happy-making takes.
baratron From: baratron Date: 9th November 2011 23:37 (UTC) (Link)
I don't have *any* money. I haven't had any income at all for several months and am owed £700 by the Inland Revenue, which they won't consider paying me back until after January. I live off Richard's income, and that's a lot of the problem.
epi_lj From: epi_lj Date: 10th November 2011 03:15 (UTC) (Link)
Then, if he's willing to fund it, you have to trust that he thinks it's a good use of his money.
hiddenpaw From: hiddenpaw Date: 10th November 2011 07:49 (UTC) (Link)
Indeed, After all traditionally the bit with the rings in the weeding service is called "The exchanging of rings" so in theory that would be Richard getting one for you and you getting one for him.
From: jinian Date: 9th November 2011 21:07 (UTC) (Link)
a. Yes.

b. I think for a lot of people it's not "reconcile themselves" but rather "be proud that I/my relationship is worth so much." Whether that is healthy is left as an exercise for the readers. Personally I think that happification is a perfectly good use for money above the cost of living, and if it will make you happy you should do it. Most likely you'll get over the money-awkwardness and keep the happy feeling for longer.
johnckirk From: johnckirk Date: 10th November 2011 01:43 (UTC) (Link)
a) If you (collectively) can afford it, I think you should get it. You'll "use" it every day, and it will make you happy, so it will average out at something like 10 cents/day over 50 years (based on rough back-of-envelope calculations).

b) It's probably best not to think about it too much :) I don't know about rings, but my Brompton (folding bike) cost about £1000. I'd feel nervous if I was walking around with that much money in cash, but it doesn't bother me to carry the bike into a shop or leave it locked up unattended.

You may want to get the ring engraved, just in case it gets lost/stolen, so that it would be easier to recover it later.

Oh, and belated congratulations on your engagement, since I don't think I've commented on any of your other related posts.
baratron From: baratron Date: 15th November 2011 19:18 (UTC) (Link)
My trike is probably worth about £1000, and I'm happy to leave it locked in cycle racks. My laptop is worth about £2000, and I carry it around with me every day I go to College. Somehow, neither of those things bother me like a ring does.

I think it's because tricycles and laptops are physically bigger, but I can't articulate it beyond that. Something to do with them being much harder to simply lose (rather than have stolen - I'd have thought any valuable item had a similar risk of theft).
treacle_well From: treacle_well Date: 10th November 2011 02:28 (UTC) (Link)
a) yes
b) Once I acquire things, I think of them as things I love, or things that are pretty, or things I need, or symbols of something meaningful, and it never even occurs to me to think of them as money.
firecat From: firecat Date: 10th November 2011 08:32 (UTC) (Link)
The OH and I got platinum rings for our wedding. I've never regretted it. I love how sturdy platinum is. And it's not money on my finger, it's my wedding ring.
emperor From: emperor Date: 10th November 2011 12:30 (UTC) (Link)
a) if you like it :)
b) A combination of "trying not to think about it" and "insurance"
baratron From: baratron Date: 15th November 2011 19:19 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for mentioning insurance. I'd kinda forgotten about that :)
nmg From: nmg Date: 10th November 2011 12:38 (UTC) (Link)
a) As others have said, "if it makes you happy".

b) I'm the wrong person to ask; my ring is titanium.
From: ext_221050 Date: 11th November 2011 21:32 (UTC) (Link)
I'm with the "if you want it, go for it" crowd. I figure I'd chime in since we're the weirdos who don't have rings, and while people occasionally ask why ("We both work with high-voltage electrical systems"), it seems to be OK to not wear rings.

Wearing it on a pendant, tho... that's a good idea. Hmm. Alas, still somewhat dangerous due to arc flash (*) and/or RF radiation situations.

(*) http://www.shop.arcstore.com/product.sc?productId=1&categoryId=3 always amazes me
baratron From: baratron Date: 15th November 2011 19:14 (UTC) (Link)
I think your high-voltage electrical system is an excuse rather than a reason, though. Rings don't have to be made out of conducting material! You could have rubber rings! Or plastic, or wooden...
Ryan Tucker From: Ryan Tucker Date: 20th November 2011 17:12 (UTC) (Link)

Venting prevents explosion

Also, I hit the wrong button and am now Ryan Tucker (https://profiles.google.com/109375565950893623392) instead of HoopyCat (https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawl7ojIoOzYXPKY3DBFHrnQTiUOcBnm4VSk) here. This might have implications for various settings on your end. (But hey, there's my picture.)
lovingboth From: lovingboth Date: 14th November 2011 22:35 (UTC) (Link)
If you want it, it's a 'where is it on my list of priorities' question.

How do people reconcile themselves to having a thousand books or DVDs or CDs? I have at least the first two and haven't counted the last but...

Remember those diagrams of the chemicals in the medicines you take? You could raise that by selling prints of those.
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