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Motivator, not Paralyser, please! - helen-louise
baratron
baratron
Motivator, not Paralyser, please!
On Friday, it it was bothering me that not only was I not getting on with my college work, I wasn't panicked about how far behind I am. Yesterday, I went out and bought a goddamned lightbox. Since I got the lightbox, my ability to concentrate has come back...

...but so has my EXTREME STRESS about how late I've left this work! Now the panic is getting in the way. I would like it at the level of "motivator", not at the level of "paralyser". Stress stress stress.

Kind thoughts welcome.

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Current Mood: stressed stressed

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Comments
alexmc From: alexmc Date: 11th December 2011 20:05 (UTC) (Link)
No useful comments here. Encouraging thoughts though.
brooksmoses From: brooksmoses Date: 11th December 2011 20:17 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* Yeah, I was reading the earlier posts, and thinking that might happen, since it seems to be the usual getting-out-of-depression pattern.

Definitely hoping kind hopes in your direction; may this stage pass quickly, and you get to the motivated and less-panicked one!
barakta From: barakta Date: 11th December 2011 20:20 (UTC) (Link)
One step at a time? does that sort of thing help.

Well done for getting the lightbox sorted and I hope the paralysing panic passes soonest so you can get on with some work!
lovingboth From: lovingboth Date: 11th December 2011 23:31 (UTC) (Link)
Yep, this is what I thought - no lightbox = worse.
baratron From: baratron Date: 12th December 2011 01:18 (UTC) (Link)
The phrase "J.F.D.I." has been uttered, repeatedly :)

For those who aren't barakta, Just Fucking Do it.
barakta From: barakta Date: 12th December 2011 02:08 (UTC) (Link)
:D JFDI is how BiCon 2011 was run when I regularly didn't have the spoons or motivation :)

nitoda From: nitoda Date: 11th December 2011 21:51 (UTC) (Link)
Glad the lightbox is helping - dunno how to manage the paralysis effect of not having done stuff, have been suffering the same myself over various things. At work I used to be able to get away with some stuff just getting left as long as I picked carefully. At home this is also true, but I'm not choosing as well. I'm picking activities that are easier to do and not doing things I need to do such as ringing people, chasing various tradesmen etc. etc. I get frustrated when someone has been contacted and we're waiting for something back from them but I am not good at ringing them as asking what's happening and why I haven't heard from them. Instead I just start to feel down and ignored and belittled ... as if I'm obviously undeserving of their attention or they would have got back to me. It's NOT helpful. I'm intending to steel myself tomorrow to make some calls. Hope you and I both get things done!
jinian From: jinian Date: 11th December 2011 22:26 (UTC) (Link)
Sorry it's hard. I'm sure you'll get through it.

Does it help to set small goals and accomplish them? Can you write things on the to-do list that are already done, for instant cross-off satisfaction?
rogerstening From: rogerstening Date: 12th December 2011 03:25 (UTC) (Link)
Former friend of mine (moved out of contact ten years ago, sadly) suffered from S.A.D.; first time I'd heard about it, and that was something like twenty years ago. Since then, I've noticed that more and more people seem to suffer it, which is both saddening and heartening; saddening, because it's such an insidious thing to be saddled with, and heartening, because maybe, just maybe, the medical profession is getting to grips with these illnesses that were formerly thought of as being psychosomatic in nature.

Whatever the root cause of S.A.D. is, I truly hope that a cure is found sooner than later - and in the mean time, I'm glad you found a lightbox to use - the darker months always seem to be more of a struggle for suffers. Keep on being motivated - you'll get to the end of the tunnel soon enough!

R.
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