So, I have been reading and contributing to a "kink meme" based on Skyrim and the Elder Scrolls games for... a while now. For those who don't know, this is a place where people anonymously post prompts for stories, which might get written by someone else. The quality is extremely variable since everything is anonymous.
Is it kinky? Not really. I don't even know why it's called a kink meme - it would make more sense to call it a story request site. There's the odd story about spanking or domination, but quite a few of the requests don't involve sex at all, and the majority of those which do are strictly vanilla. Very
vanilla. So vanilla that they make me feel raspberry ripple...
I started off only reading the M/M fic, since that's my personal favourite. As the number of new stories started to die off as regulars moved onto other fandoms, I started reading the other stuff as well. And soon discovered why I don't usually bother...
I am officially
sick of the trope in writing "het" sex where the man makes the woman come with fingers and/or mouth, THEN they fuck and she comes again. Women *may* have multiple orgasms in one session of sex. It's certainly not usual for all
It's like the writers are going through a checklist.
Kissing - tick!
Man fondles woman's boobs - tick!
Woman fondles man's penis - tick!
Man on woman oral sex - tick!
Man on woman fingering - tick!
Woman's first orgasm - tick!
Woman on man oral sex - tick!
Man and woman have vaginal sex - tick!
Woman's second orgasm - tick!
Man's orgasm - tick!
Honestly, almost every story I've read involving an opposite-sex couple is like this. And it grates, because - I don't know about you, but I
certainly don't do all of these things in one ordinary session of sex. I'm not even sure that these events work
in this order - a man must be very restrained to have gone down on his woman, watch her come, then have her go down on him, and somehow manage to stay hard enough to fuck her afterwards. It's not as if the couples are doing anything as fancy as using a cock ring - I think I've seen precisely one
story in which the man had a thin leather strap tied around the base of his cock.
And it also grates because it's so boring
. Where's the finger up the bum - his, hers, or both? It's really not at all dirty if you've been to the loo recently - any lurking faecal matter would be higher than a finger can reach. I already mentioned the lack of cock rings, but there are few other implements mentioned. People tie each other up occasionally and spank each other with horse whips, but that's about it from a kink perspective... Where are the dildoes, the buttplugs, or the anal beads? Skyrim has abundant horkers (walrus-like creatures) and mammoths for ivory, so it's not as if there isn't anything to make them from. They have glass, metal, and pottery, and people who know how to work these materials. The universe even has a goddess specifically devoted to carnal pleasures, and she's one of the mainstream Nine (or Eight) which most people worship!
There are so
many ways for a man and a woman to have sex which these checklist stories simply fail to encompass. I want to see buttplugs in action. A dildo in one hole and a penis in the other. Perineal massage to deal with period pain. A woman wearing a strap-on to penetrate her man.
Maybe I should go over to the meme and request it? Problem is, there's quite honestly only one or two writers who would be capable of writing something like this...
Tags: fiction, skyrim
Current Mood: irritated