I haven't been feeling very successful in my life lately. I came back from Canada and collapsed in a heap of exhaustion and/or depression. No idea which. Possibly both. The thing is, I have an overwhelming feeling that it's depression due to physical health problems rather than my mental health screwing up.
I didn't mention this earlier, but I had my thyroxine dose increased just before I went away. My TSH level was 4.something (I wrote it down, but I've no idea where I put the piece of paper - 4.7, perhaps?). It was high enough to be in the range where even the NHS would advise another test in 6 months if I wasn't already on thyroxine. In this situation it was a clear indicator that my thyroxine dose wasn't high enough any more. Still, I was only on 25 mg, which is nothing
I have a feeling that when my thyroid is working less awfully, I will feel better in all sorts of ways. Not sleeping for more than 12 hours a day would be nice. I've had a few days where I've slept for 10 hours, woken up, eaten something and taken meds, and then gone back to sleep for another 6 hours. I've had a few more days where I've slept for 4 hours and then woken up wide awake and been entirely unable to get back to sleep.
I have done NOTHING with regards to College work. I have done NO WRITING for pleasure since 6th January, except that today I managed to produce 900 words, of which about 700 are good. I owe BiCon an Access Report and am actually rather grateful that Jennifer has been on my back about it, because it shows that the BiCon team takes access seriously.
I haven't read any books in weeks. I've read some fanfiction online, and also some short fiction
by Sarah Monette
, who is rapidly becoming one of my favourite authors. And also this
by Elizabeth Bear (which made me cry my eyes out) and this
by Marissa Lingen, courtesy of elisem
who makes necklaces which people write about.
About all I've done constructively lately is play Animal Crossing: New Leaf
. And, this weekend, I took part in the beta of The Elder Scrolls: Online
, which was actually about 100 x more fun than it should have been considering it's (a) an MMO with a monthly fee and (b) messing up some of the established Lore of the universe. Today I did a small amount of posting of information to the UESP wiki
. But in general, life has been relentlessly awful and exhausting, even though nothing much has happened.
Tags: better living with modern pharmacology, blood test results, chronic fatigue, fiction, just another boring life update, video games
Current Mood: indescribable