helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Mood:

Where empathy falls down.

Part of what makes me me is that I empathise strongly with other people. The more I care about them or the closer their situation seems to mine, the more I empathise. I worry about people in bad situations, and my insides get all churned up with concern. The problem I have is that the way I empathise involves transferring my emotions to other people. I read something in their journal and assume that "because x has happened, they are feeling y", because that's how I'd feel in that situation. This is not necessarily a correct assumption. To really mess up, assume that the person is feeling y - and so must also be feeling z because that must logically follow (!). Then go around being terribly stressed out because the person is feeling z, confront them about it, and then find out that actually they don't even feel y, let alone z.

I'm sorry this is cryptic, but it's meant more as a note to self and a public apology. And in writing this now, I have a horrible feeling I made a post almost identical to this one about a year ago, and with the same friend as the person I managed to upset horribly. Argh^2. When will I learn? (When will I get the emotional and rational parts of my brain working at the same time?!)

  • Not here any more

    The new Terms of Service for livejournal wants to regulate certain types of political content which have been deemed inappropriate for children by…

  • BiFest

    Apparently there is a BiFest on Saturday 8th April, approximately 10 minutes walk from my house. This is so very close that I really have no excuse…

  • New-to-me doctors never understand me

    Today I experienced the joy which is seeing a doctor who doesn't know me. Apparently my usual GP is on holiday somewhere warm, lucky woman. So I was…

Comments for this post were disabled by the author