helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

macabre humour

Some people think that I am a hypochondriac, but I'm not. A hypochrondiac is someone who rushes to the doctor every other day to say "I think my leg's going to fall off!". A chronically ill person is someone who'll hop to an appointment on the leg that's still there, and when asked about it will be surprised, because it didn't seem important compared to some of the other problems.

I'm sure this analogy worked much better when I said it out loud. Ah well.

I was going to blether about my health, but I didn't want to subject you to another distressed rant. Suffice to say yesterday night was one of those "used up all my sick days so I called in dead" times, when I was crying with pain and discomfort (which are not the same things). I was going to post here about it, but didn't see the point because it was 6am and no one would read it until the morning, by which time I'd be better. Is that a sign of optimism, to assume that in the morning I'd be better? Or just experience? Hmm.

I was highly amused on my travels through the internet to find the advice "When consulting your doctor, try to mention only your top 10 symptoms at the moment." I was also extremely amused by the following quotes from the ID Agora:
Unlike Terminal Illness which threatens to kill the patient, M.E. threatens to not kill the patient. -- David Kelso
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply given up in disgust. -- Don Herold


These ones are just too true to be funny:
Most people who live with a chronic illness will tell you that relapses are made much worse by the fact that they follow temporary remissions, when we think, with the eternal optimism of well-being, that we have escaped the clutches of pain for good. -- Kat Duff, 'The Alchemy of Illness'

There are now so many laboratory tests available, that some doctors may interpret 'absence of evidence' as 'evidence of absence'. -- L Hartnell
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