helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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distressed wibble (again)

This Functional Ability Scale for young people with ME is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. Let's leave aside the question of whether or not what I have is ME, and read it in terms of all the symptoms I have, rather than symptoms of a specific ailment. Normally, I'd be at around 90% on a good day, and around 80% on a bad day. At the moment I feel almost as ill and exhausted as I ever have done, and would be somewhere between 70 and 60% on the scale.

I'm having horrible memories of 50%, which is the most ill I've ever been. If that's 50% and this is 60%, what the fuck does 30% feel like? And if I ever got to 20% (only able to read for 5-10 minutes at a time) for more than a day or two, I would want to be shot, because my life wouldn't be worth living.

God! I don't want to wait a month to see my doctor! Why does he always go on holiday when I'm ill?

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