helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron
  • Mood: distressed

distressed wibble (again)

This Functional Ability Scale for young people with ME is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. Let's leave aside the question of whether or not what I have is ME, and read it in terms of all the symptoms I have, rather than symptoms of a specific ailment. Normally, I'd be at around 90% on a good day, and around 80% on a bad day. At the moment I feel almost as ill and exhausted as I ever have done, and would be somewhere between 70 and 60% on the scale.

I'm having horrible memories of 50%, which is the most ill I've ever been. If that's 50% and this is 60%, what the fuck does 30% feel like? And if I ever got to 20% (only able to read for 5-10 minutes at a time) for more than a day or two, I would want to be shot, because my life wouldn't be worth living.

God! I don't want to wait a month to see my doctor! Why does he always go on holiday when I'm ill?
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