My doctor reckons that 90% of the symptoms I've been complaining about are due to something called hyperventilation occulta, or unseen hyperventilation. I am unconvinced. Exceedingly unconvinced. But reading about it on the web, it does seem to be a real thing.
I didn't think I hyperventilated, but apparently you're only supposed to breathe 12-14 times per minute. What? I normally breathe at least once per second. You mean that's not normal? I'm sitting here now trying to breathe only through my nose, and finding it really damned hard - I think normally I breathe through my nose and mouth together. I feel as though I'm not getting enough oxygen, and desperately wanting to open my mouth and gasp for breath, but apparently that's the worst thing I could do.
How am I supposed to learn to breathe a different way? (Semi-rhetorical question - one of the links above talks about a course for people with asthma to learn to stop hyperventilating). Huh.