helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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Bleurgh days.

Having a very bleurgh couple of days. Had a few days of being not too ill, then a couple of days of being really quite ill. Back to waking up hurting all over and unable to walk reliably :/

My concern with this hyperventilation occulta diagnosis is that now all my symptoms are being written off as that. I'm willing to accept that I do breathe too quickly and it may be making me ill, but I'm not sure whether it's the problem or merely a problem, if that makes any sense. Just have to wait and see, I suppose - and get enough brain power together to read the book on it I bought.

I think I exaggerated slightly when I said I breathed once per second - usually if I'm doing something active, I take about 30 breaths per minute - I meant that I breathe in one second and out the next. If I'm doing something more restful, my rate is slower, but it's still nothing like 12-14 breaths per minute. While lots of people have suggested singing lessons, I don't think that would help at all because I've been singing my whole life - was in choirs all the way through school - and if anything, that reinforced my bad breathing habits - I learnt to grab a quick breath inbetween each phrase rather than taking a long deep breath at the end of each passage. Plus, I can't see my dad paying for me to have singing lessons, whereas I could probably get him to pay for asthma management / chest physiotherapy classes.

I think the best thing for me to do is to continue to treat this as ME or chronic fatigue syndrome and rest lots, even if I don't think I need it. Because whenever I don't rest lots, I suffer terribly the next day and the day after. It could be, for instance, that my problem is CFS caused by a combination of hyperventilation occulta and something else. It's just so annoying not to be able to predict how I'm going to feel from one day to the next :/ I haven't booked tickets for any of the bands I want to see because I'm not sure if I'll be capable of getting there. And I keep letting my mum down by not being well enough to help her, which is contributing to the general parental distress.

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