helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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my surreality buffer is overflowing...

I got in last night and logged on to find Dan suggesting that I watch Banzai, a new Japanese-style game show on Channel 4. He described it as Bishi Bashi on acid.

Basically, what you have to do is watch it with your friends and bet on the outcome of various surreal games. Last night these included Minor Celebrity Sexy Party and the Goth Man Kissing Challenge, which I shall describe below.

"These three people are goth men. First goth man is called Jason. Second goth man, he known as Dayve Death. Third goth man is leader of goth man, he expert in everything goth, his name is Robin.

This is old lady. She is not goth. She is old age pensioner. Her name is Gladys.

Three goth men been very thirsty drinking goth drinks. Two goth men drink lager. One goth man drink special goth drink known as snakebite and black.

Old lady Gladys must find which goth man drinking snakebite and black just by kissing."

So then when I started reading a local message board to discover links to square watermelons, prawn pornography, and oddest of all, disturbing sex toys for furry folk, I thought my brain was going to explode. When I saw the kangaroo penis, all I could do was meep pitifully.

Actually, I think I'd quite like a dildo in the shape of a kangaroo penis. Putting it on display in the front room would make a good talking point. And I'd really like to see what it looks like in 3 dimensions.

Nah, it was just the orca penis, at 15 inches long and 4 inches thick, that really disturbed me.

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