January 31st, 2002


The nights are always the hardest.

Depression sucks rocks [1]. I've spent the past four or five hours drifting along by reading other people's journals and talking on irc, instead of doing any of the things I meant to do. I've spent the whole night worried, stressed and unable to focus. But now the sun's up, my head feels clearer.

Something that someone wrote in her journal really upset me, and something that someone else wrote in hers really annoyed me. But I don't want to take people to task for writing things in their own journals, or to feel that they need to edit what they write in case I get upset by it. And the worst of it is that I can't explain why I'm upset in a matter of fact way because it's pushing too many buttons for me to be able to talk about it without my emotions taking over.

I think I'll just have to ignore it and get on with other things.

[1] Can I say this? I think in modern-day parlance things either "suck" (i.e. are bad) or "rock" (are good). But I seem to recall the expression "sucks rocks" from somewhere.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
opinion, eye

livejournal client stress

I installed the newest version of the unix livejournal client, called logjam, because I'd heard it was a lot more stable than the previous version (loserjabber). In particular, it's apparently not prone to loserjabber's annoying habit of crashing and losing your journal entry just because it can't find the livejournal site. I used it happily on the day I installed it, and exited the program neatly. But today, I haven't been able to use it at all. The login screen appears briefly, then disappears, and I get a Segmentation Fault (core dumped) error in my console window. How helpful. I have no idea what's causing the problem, and it is rather annoying.

As I couldn't get logjam to work at all earlier, I posted through the update.bml?mode=full page, specifying the user icon I wanted to use and my current mood. But when I viewed my journal just now, I found that my mood was missing. Going to the Edit Entries page showed that my user icon was set to "default" and mood set to "None". I fixed these, saved the entry, did a forced reload - and still they weren't there. Tried this a few more times, and gave up. I had to use the Windows client to fix my missing mood on my last entry, and I'm having to use it now to type this. Grrr.
  • Current Mood
    irritated irritated

Chair's diary of the day before alt.polycon.

11am - Tired, stressed. Been up all night doing odds and ends for the con. Calling the other con committee members to discuss final plans. Everyone worried about small details.

12pm - Tired and angsty. Need to confirm numbers for Sunday Brunch with hotel, but can't get through to the guy at the hotel I need to speak to. I go and get on a bus to take the artwork for the alt.polycon 8 t-shirt to the printers.

~12.40pm - Lost in deepest Tolworth. I've been told that the t-shirt printers is in the Red Lion Industrial Estate, and I think this is just down Red Lion Road. However, the road seems to have become several miles longer than it was last time I was down there. After 10 minutes of walking, I start to wonder if I am going the right way. I ask a local newsagent where the Industrial Estate is. Apparently it's "2 or 3 minutes down the road, just past the mini-roundabout".

~12.47pm - Find the mini-roundabout, but no sign of an industrial estate.

~12.52pm - Find the industrial estate. However, it has no map. Moreover, the units are numbered in a seemingly-random order. Wonderful.

~1pm - I find the t-shirt printers, and am licked energetically by a small dog. T-shirt printing man is very nice. He hands me a large catalogue full of t-shirts. I thought the choice I had was between normal weight and high quality, not that there would be something like 12 or 14 different makes to choose from! And the sizes vary enormously - in some makes, a t-shirt for a 40" chest would be a Large, in others that would be Small. Seeing as the standard sizes are from Small to XXL, this is rather confusing. After several minutes of baffling, I pick the t-shirts that get recommended. He finds my confusion amusing. Meanwhile, the guy from the hotel calls back - just as I am in the middle of rather complex negotiations. I tell him I'll call him when I'm done.

~1.30pm - Get out of the t-shirt printers. Trek back down to the bus stop whilst in the middle of a howling gale. Curse the fact that I didn't think to bring a hairband with me. Arrive at bus stop & call hotel guy, only to find that he's gone to lunch. Hmmm.

2.05pm - Obtain rather fantastic pizza from PizzaRoma. Eat it. Feel rather less tired and stressed. Go home.

2.45pm - Try to call hotel guy again. Apparently he is in a meeting. The person who answers the phone says he will try to get the other guy to call me back this afternoon. I say "It had better be this afternoon 'cos it's about an event tomorrow!".

3pm - Officially reach the point of tearing my hair out. Brush knots out of hair from aforementioned howling gale.

3.25pm - Another hotel guy rings, somewhat confused. He had been given the message to call me, but it is not him that I need to speak to. He is apologetic. Apparently the person who answered was Spanish. Anyone who has seen Fawlty Towers will understand this.

3.30pm - Go so far into stress that I come out the other side. Start finding the whole situation of it being less than 24 hours until an event I've spent literally whole days of my life organising rather amusing. Talk to people on irc and make final posts to alt.poly & the UK poly groups.

4.15pm - Full Scale Panic. Hotel guy rings and I discover I misread the contract the last time I looked at it. We were supposed to pay the full balance of the event last week, not tomorrow as I had thought. Oh shit. Make panicked phone call to SO with credit card. Die.

5.06pm - All is sorted. Hotel has received fax of SO's credit card details. The hotel's understanding of what is happening when seems to be the same as ours.

5.14pm - Spend 5 minutes trying to find an old livejournal entry written about PizzaRoma, which I was sure was entitled "I just had the most wonderful pizza". Fail to find it. Give up.

5.20pm - Post to livejournal. Get some much-needed sleep.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed