March 8th, 2003

baratron, silly

Amusing randomness from my lj friends page

  • I am hereby excused from making nonsensical poll posts due to the fact that my brain is currently 98% snot by volume.

  • LJ used to escape ampersands (& -> &) in the HTML for my embedded site. Recently, it quit doing that, so my site doesn't validate. I would like it to start escaping them again.

  • What four things do you need to do this weekend?
    1. Dishes. 2. Gym. 3. Date with [partner]. 4. Start work on the sushi sundresses.

  • I am vaguely considering committing butternut squash soup this weekend, since I have a craving for same.

  • [Partner] met me in the demilitarised border of the airport, after I had hiked approximately three miles with my luggage.

  • What's on your computer desk?
    ...a scarily large amount of used tissues (oh precious brain fluid!)

(comments from jenett, kixie, lilairen, rivka, the_siobhan & suggestions).

Ramble about illness & things.

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I've been talking about starting to use a wheelchair, and some of my friends' reaction has been "Oh my God - I hope it doesn't get that bad!". And I'm like - it's already that bad. I can't walk reliably round the flat most days, let alone out in the street - and certainly not out in the street by myself, today proved that. I see a wheelchair as a wonderous thing that will let me have some semblance of a life, rather than a terrible thing that I will be stuck in. To be honest, the biggest problem I'd have with using a wheelchair would be other people's reactions. I am just so depressed and unhappy from not being able to go out, like I said, even just down to the bank to pay a bill - never mind whether or not I have the money, I can't get there. I'm completely dependent on Richard or Alexa or other friends to do everything outside the house.

If this is actually ME or chronic fatigue syndrome, then it's probably not a good idea for me to do very much - but I need to be able to do something, even if it's just being wheeled down to look at the flowers in the park. It's really hard to explain. I've been virtually housebound by depression before, and that pissed me off, but at least I didn't want to go out very much. Whereas now, I want to be able to get on with my job and my degree and my normal everyday life, and I can't. I actually would really like to be able to do my job, but it puts me in too much pain to get there: I don't hold a driving license and even if I did, I'm not sure I'd be safe to drive in this uncontrolled condition; and it's just not practical to have someone else drive me in.

Okay, that's enough moaning - no more sympathy, please, just practical suggestions :) Anyone who wants to bring me dinner over the next few weeks is welcome, if you call me to arrange logistics - if you don't have my number email me for it. Don't care who comes, really, just come and keep me company. Oh yeah, I should warn you it's a tip, because I don't want to spend the small amount of energy I do have on cleaning up, but if anyone is particularly bothered by it, you can come and clean for me :)