June 10th, 2005


Wanted: one seamstress (any gender)

I am completely stressed out. My octopus is broken. No, this is not a euphemism for something dodgy - my toy octopus who shares my bed has ripped seams and exposed stuffing and needs to be fixed. Basically, the company who made him used weird plastic sewing thread, which easily pulls through the fabric and breaks. Richard has already repaired him by hand four times, but now he has holes in so many places that the only way to fix him will be to unpick enough of the seams to make the material flat, and completely resew all of them with fresh, non-crappy thread.

Today I went to look at sewing machines, but it transpires no one makes sewing machines for idiots. The cheapest one that has a speed control is £299 and has 24 types of stitch, which is 23 too many for me. You can buy sewing machines that have only 4 or 6 stitch types, but they don't have speed controls, which makes them entirely useless - I need something where the speed is independent of how hard you press the pedal, or else I spend more time unpicking than sewing. (I don't just break needles - I have actually blown up the circuit boards of sewing machines in the past by getting the fabric completely snarled up so it overheated). I don't get it - you can buy power tools "for women" (ok, don't get me started on the whole binary gender rant - I just mean they're lighter and slimmer, and usually painted pink), so why can't you buy sewing machines "for men"?

So I have decided that the only option is to persuade someone I know who has a sewing machine and knows how to use it to fix Yowie for me. Collapse )
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