October 21st, 2009



Really not doing very wonderfully at all. To give you some idea, today involved my alarm going off at 3pm followed by me falling back to sleep multiple times until it was about 5.30pm. Then I sat in bed reading and having bursts of crying until 8ish. Feeling very tired, very sad and very "heavy" - my limbs feel like I'm in some sort of extra-strong gravity field and moving feels like far too much effort.

Not altogether certain whether it's depression or chronic fatigue or both. For the past few weeks, I seem to have been having an okay day followed by an absolutely shitty day, over and over. Probably need to go back to the doctor. And it's fucking frustrating because I spent the summer reducing the dose of my antidepressant and now what? Dire depression. Richard says "You don't remember how bad you were years ago" and he's right, but nor do I want to go back there.

My concentration span is rotten too. I can't concentrate on anything, then I hyperfocus on something. Like ranting about the stupid Daily Mail article. It's all or nothing, and it's never on the right things. Also I feel cold all the time and my hair is falling out worse than usual.

I'd quite like to crawl into a hole and hibernate for a few months until it's spring again.

Not keeping up with livejournal terribly well. If there's something you want to make sure I know, then post the link here.