November 21st, 2011



Blargh. Today I was VERY BRAVE and went to get a cervical smear test done. For various reasons, including having A Thing about having the same doctor see me with and without clothes, and liking to see an actual gynaecologist, I go to a Well Woman/Family Planning clinic somewhere other than my usual GP surgery. I should have gone in July or August, but the clinic is only open on Monday and Tuesday nights - which has made it rather hard to get there "in the middle of the month".

Anyway, while I was there I got my girly bits prodded to find out whether the pain which I've been attributing to "my evil left ovary" is indeed gynaecological. And apparently it might be fibroids or a cyst of some sort and I need to get referred for a scan. OH JOY.

This is just not a thing I need right now/at all, given that I'm having a generally stressful few months and also have medical phobia. I've managed to overcome my fear of Kingston Hospital to the point where I can go there for blood tests or urgent treatment in A&E, but there are certain things that I'm still absolutely terrified of. Do Not Want.

Then again, given that endometrial cancer runs in my family, I'd have to be stupid to let my phobia stop me from getting a diagnosis - in case it is something serious.

Argh! Why this? Why now? Why can't my evil left ovary just stop being evil?

I know that if it's a benign ovarian cyst it has a reasonable chance of getting reabsorbed of its own accord, so it is pointless worrying too much in advance of more information - but if I could rationalise things like that, I wouldn't have a medical phobia!