helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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poly card shopping

First, the good stuff.

I have successfully found a Christmas card for Richard which fulfills all my criteria. Let me explain. I feel, at this stage in our relationship, that "boyfriend" is not really an appropriate term. I still think of a boyfriend as someone you hold hands in the cinema with, not an actual life partner. Besides, most of the boyfriend cards have crap jokes about sex, football or farting on them. (The girlfriend cards were considerably less offensive, but I already have a card for Alexa that's a lexa-specific card, which is better than a generic girlfriend card any day).

But I like to buy cards which have the person's "job title" on them - call it a quirk of my family (I was brought up with relatives who would sulk if their card didn't have "Grandma" or whatever printed on it). So I have to look for a good alternative to "boyfriend". The other term that's commonly used on cards is "The one I love" - but it's somewhat inaccurate, unless I start adding stuff to it (and I have negative feelings about that after getting a card which said "I am happy whenever I'm with you" with "and you're not spodding or moaning" written after it). Then you get "To someone special", but I'm not keen on those because they seem too non-specific (after all, I'd send them to everyone vaguely important in my life). And let's not even get onto "To A Special Friend".

Anyway. It seems this Christmas that cards have been produced which say "To My Partner" on them. Hooray. Except most of them are hideously gender-specific, which is my other great bugbear in cards. If a card is addressed to "My Partner" which is a gender-neutral term, why should the gender of me and my partner be specified in the picture? One of the cards had snowmen on it - you'd have thought snowmen were pretty gender-neutral, right? But one of them had stumpy snow legs and the other had a long snow skirt! Argh! Then there was another one with teddy bears on (which get a +2 rating, on the basis that cute furry creatures score +1 and ewok-like creatures score an extra 1), but one of them was pink and clutching a flower, while the other was blue and sort-of butch. And inside it said "With all my love", which again, is sort-of inaccurate. Double argh.

I did eventually find a card which says on it "To A Wonderful Partner". Inside, it says "With love". And the picture is of two teddy bears the same colour, wearing Christmas-coloured hats and scarves rather than gender-specific colours. One of the bears is slightly larger than the other, but apart from that they're identical; and besides, Richard is a bit taller than me, so that's okay. I believe this is a result.

In other news, the card shop was offering "Free cellowrapping". I'm quite surprised, because cellos need quite a lot of wrapping paper. Contemplating taking it in, and acting all confused when they tell me it's cellophane wrapping...

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