helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

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insomnia

Today episode of Night of the Living Dead is brought to you by your host, H.L. Zombie. Braaaaaaaains!

God, I hate insomnia. I've suffered from it for my entire life - I think my parents first took me to a doctor because I couldn't sleep when I was about 18 months old. The doctor prescribed Valium, and my mum was so freaked out she changed GP. She tells a story which I don't actually remember happening, when I was about 2 years old and still awake at godknowswhathour, and she completely lost her rag and took every jigsaw I owned, tipped them all out of the boxes and muddled them up. "There", she said, "You can wake me up when they're done". Apparently I was then quiet for long enough that she assumed I'd gone to sleep, and she finally managed to get to sleep herself. Only to be woken at 2.30am by a toddler bouncing on her, pulling up her eyelids saying "Are you in there, Mummy?" and "What can I do now?". All the jigsaws were done and sorted with the right boxes next to them.

OK, well while I only needed 4 hours of sleep a night when I was a young child, I need a bit more than that now. So being WIDE AWAKE at 5am really wasn't what I needed last night. The sleep "experts" reckon that if you go to bed and are still awake after 20 minutes, you should get up and do something else as you obviously aren't tired enough to sleep, and it's "bad" to stay in bed without sleeping. These "experts" have clearly never been awake for so long their core temperature starts to drop and bed is the only place you can keep anywhere near warm enough, nor been awake for so long every muscle hurts and trembles, nor vertical for so long that sitting upright causes pain. I don't recommend it. Having lain awake from 4.30 to 5.45am, I finally gave in and turned the GBA on, playing Pokemon lying on my back - until 6.25am, when I thought I might be tired enough to sleep.

I then got woken up by the phone ringing, or the doorbell ringing, or someone else's phone ringing, or someone else's doorbell ringing, or the sandwich van coming for the garage behind us, at least 6 times between 8.30am and 12.55pm, when my alarm went off. So god only knows how few hours of sleep I actually got - maybe 6 hours of extremely interrupted sleep, which is probably equivalent to about 4 hours of decent quality sleep?

And people wonder why I'm not a morning person!
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