helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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not just one, but TWO...

I've got up at a sensible time of day two days running. I'm most impressed with myself, and somewhat surprised. You see, usually when I find my sleep patterns drifting too hard, I try to correct them by fighting my urge to sleep. This never works very well, and is only any good for one-off special occasions when I need to be awake at a particular time of day. In the long run, I end up staying awake for 24 or 36 hours and then sleeping so long the next day that I get out of sync again.

I was horribly depressed on Thursday and some of Friday. Something - I don't even know what - just triggered off the start of a depressive attack on Wednesday night (well, Thursday morning) as I sat in front of the computer talking to people and making up a mix CD. I had been fine, but then I found myself feeling suddenly crushed and deflated, and I didn't know why, and nothing really helped. I ended up staying up until 10am because I was too scared to sleep because I knew I'd have really bad nightmares. So I was like a zombie on Thursday night, and on Friday I slept until about 8pm, when I woke up and found I was better. Richard came home early, we got takeaway food from the noodle bar in New Malden, watched some TV that I had recorded, and played Mighty Hits Special. I went to bed again about 2.30am because I was tired enough to want to. So I woke up at 7am on Saturday.

Having woken up early yesterday I had the whole day to do stuff with. I'd already agreed to go out somewhere with Tim, as our respective SOs both needed to work. So after clearing out my mailing list email (a task which took about 3 hours, as I'd been letting it pile up again), I rang him and we decided to go to Rock Circus. It was quite good, though not really worth £8.25, so I was glad I hadn't had to pay for it. After that we were supposed to be meeting John to give him his birthday present from a month ago, but he rang to say he'd crashed his motorbike somewhere on the Strand. As we were walking up there, it started raining. Being used to London weather we carried on walking, but then it started absolutely bucketing it down and we were forced to seek shelter in a phone box. By the time it had stopped raining and was merely drizzling, John and his motorbike had gone off with a nice man from the AA. So we did a bit of shopping, then got the tube over to Aldgate. Then we went to Namco, and then to Marcus and Cath's house for dinner. Richard and Peter joined us there, and we had a nice meal and watched silly TV, including "The Best of Banzai" (again). We went home at a sensible time, and I went straight to bed. So today I woke up at about 9am.

Now, I'm sitting in front of the computer and feeling vaguely lonely, because Richard won't be up for a few hours yet, and there's no one around online to talk to, because most UK people have got better things to do at this time of day than be logged on, and all of the non-UK hardcore spods that I know will be asleep. I don't like being online if there's no one around to talk to. I'll have to find something else to do. For example, I have a load of videos to watch, but I don't really like watching videos by myself. I was expecting to have heard by the two visiting Americans from alt.poly by now, but they haven't got in contact at all, so I don't know if they want to see me or not. *sigh*

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