Had a bunch of extremely bizarre dreams last night, including:
1) a dream featuring Richard & I having an argument about the amount of smoke in a restaurant, running up lots of stairs with candlelit alcoves, and ending up in a beautiful roof garden, where we had soup and salad.
2) a dream where I was re-landscaping a distant railway station to have wheelchair access up to a 30 foot wooden statue of Nelson Mandela that was on the hill next to the station. This was the only reason why anyone would want to visit said station, as there was nothing else there.
3) going to Seattle to find the recipe for the cinnamon-and-chocolate-chip cookies that I'd eaten at alt.polycon 7 in 1995 (?!)
4) picking up a certain ex there and reconnecting over a long walk in a strange countryside that was sort-of based on the area around my primary school, only not quite.
5) buying a flute (musical instrument), and having the choice between different grades of flute, that were all the same in terms of the number of notes they had, but grade 1 flutes were thin-tubed and needed little effort to blow, while grade 6 flutes were two inches in diameter and needed a huge amount of puff to make music with.
6) an excellent dream in which artremis and I were going around a strange town buying badge-making materials and ordering some custom-made t-shirts. Except after I'd made the design and emailed the gif to them, it turned out the minimum order was 100. So I distracted the assistants then shoplifted £4-worth of crappy vests. (WTF?)
7) being a police officer telling off some kids for skateboarding over gravel and telling them instead to skateboard on the crazy golf course.
8) being a champion skateboarder who could fly.
9) going with x_mass and otterylexa on the train somewhere, except we had to keep going backwards and forwards, and had to use fake tickets because we couldn't afford real ones.
10) picking up a cute girl in the process, and wanting to have HOTT SEXX with her until it turned out that she had a heart defect and couldn't. Then she disappeared.
11) lost in a cobble-stoned town where I didn't speak the language or have a map, I eventually found a shop that sold china, and went in there to see if I could colour-match my Ikea plates with matching mugs. (This actually has basis in reality - we have some gorgeous purple plates that we're trying to find mugs for).
12) going into some kind of bad fanfic Harry Potter universe, where external authors could randomly rub out or change things as we were experiencing them.
13) reorganising my freezer with the help of Marks & Spencer and someone I used to be at secondary school with. Also, putting frozen soy mince into Jiffy bags(?) labelled "SOYA MINCE" before stuffing them into the drawer.
14) trying to persuade Harry & Ron that they shouldn't enter a music competition with a Jackson 5 impersonator when they'd only just started writing music, but Ron kept flushing himself down the toilet.
15) flying to a strange island where there were many monkeys and trees with bananas, oranges and pears.
This entire dream sequence was like one huge dream where one theme merged into the next, but 3-6 were definitely the best bits.