helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Music:

Chris McCormack's hair.

Yesterday when I was feeling a bit crappy, I sat down and watched the Kerrang! Awards, which were broadcast on Channel 5 on Sunday. They were really very bizarre, in that I recognised hardly any of the bands nominated. I mean, I'd heard of most of them, but I didn't know what they looked like or what any of their songs sounded like. Most of them were pretty dire. In the end, I figured I actually liked exactly two of the bands nominated: Green Day and Blink-182. (Rammstein and Linkin Park deserve an honourable mention by virtue of the fact that they make me laugh - I mean, Linkin Park have a guy who sings operatic-style vocals and another who raps - on the same song, at the same time!). But honestly, apart from them, I thought pretty much the whole lot of it was a load of toss.

So today I found myself looking through old copies of Kerrang! to see what things were like a couple of years ago. The magazines I had on offer were a random selection of ones bought in 1995 and 1996, after I'd stopped buying Kerrang! religiously every week, but when I was still bothering to look at it in the shop and pick it up if it had bands in that I like. This was a little strange in that I had at least 6 magazines in which there didn't seem to be any bands I like particularly at all - I must have bought those ones simply because I had a train journey to make and it was the best magazine in the station shop (a scary thought!). I flicked through something like 30 of these old Kerrang!s, stopping to actually read the articles about the Wildhearts and 3 Colours Red. Which was where I noticed something rather odd.

Kerrang! 1996-style obviously fancied itself as the Smash Hits of heavy metal. It was written in a humourous, irreverant style, which was amusing to new rock fans at the time, but rather sad for those of us who'd seen the 1980s incarnation. Not only did 1996 Kerrang! go on about the people who were in the bands rather than the music they were making, it also had rather an obsession with hair. Chris McCormack's hair in particular. Every time either 3 Colours Red or the delectable one were mentioned, the journalist had to make a comment about the silliness of his hairstyle. I defy you to find me an article about 3CR published in Kerrang! in 1996 which did not feature the words "spiky", "barnet" or "hedgehog".

Of course, these days Grand Theft Audio (the band that Chris is in now) are hardly known for the stupidity of their hair. These days, everyone thinks they're a punk and has silly spiky hedgehog hair to go with it. Ha! It's another case of the person everyone laughed at for falling off the boat (of fashion) later turning out to have been driving the boat. I wonder if I should point this out to Kerrang!?

I thought I'd be nice to you and include a photo on the basis that Googling isn't terribly helpful as there are no less than three famous Chris McCormacks - as well as the one I am talking about (a Geordie guitarist), there's also an Australian athlete and a techno DJ. This photo isn't a particularly nice one of him, but it does show his hair pretty well.

Chris + hair

Maybe Google should adopt a system like IMDB whereby people are given numbers to distinguish between them? So you don't accidentally get photos of the wrong Chris McCormack... I should suggest that. Mind you, they still haven't got back to me after my last suggestion.

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