There's absolutely no way to say this discreetly.
Today, I got woken up far too early (only 5 hours after I'd gone to bed) by an uncomfortable damp feeling. I soon discovered that the problem was that my pants, pyjamas and sheets were soaked with blood. How lovely. I got up and changed my sanitary pad for a new one, and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn't - I just felt too uncomfortable.
I don't think I've ever had a period this heavy in my life. I'm soaking through a fresh pad every 45 minutes. My pants and trousers are covered in blood - thankfully, they're old and black, so it doesn't matter too much. After leaving bloodstains on the futon in the front room, I'm sitting here on a red towel so that if I don't get to the bathroom in time it doesn't matter.
Fuck. I want to go out tonight, but that's going to be impossible. Not if I'm going to be flooding everywhere. The worst thing is that I'm really quite horny, but there's no way to get any kind of, er, relief. Not without getting my hand/boyfriend/etc entirely covered in blood. That wouldn't be so bad if I could find a vampire to fuck, but it dries really quickly, and dried blood on my skin feels horrible because it forms a impermeable layer.
I think the phrase of the day is "bloody hell".