when I hate livejournal

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14:35 3rd May 2006

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			when I hate livejournal - helen-louise

baratron


	when I hate livejournal
	Last post made private. Sorry for the crypticism. Got caught up in other people's lj drama and as a result was very very scared for the well-being of a friend. It transpires that they are, if not okay, at least still alive today. So deleting the post worrying about that seems like the best thing to do. I hate drama. I especially hate the universe shitting all over good people who don't deserve it. And I hate being geographically too far removed from the situation to offer any help. Also, blargh. Been fighting incipient depression since yesterday, and the horrible weird panicky dreams I had last night really didn't help. You know when your whole life is geared around a really exciting event, and then it happens, and you're back to real life again, with nothing to look forward to for many months? Yeah. That. Current Mood: sad

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	Comments

	From: jinian	Date: 3rd May 2006 15:57 (UTC)		(Link)

*hug*

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From: artremis	Date: 3rd May 2006 18:02 (UTC)		(Link)

hugs

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	From: judiff	Date: 3rd May 2006 18:19 (UTC)		(Link)

and like bunnys

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	From: jy100	Date: 4th May 2006 15:06 (UTC)		(Link)

very very scared for the well-being of a friend

Well, that friend had lunch with me today and has now gone out into the country for a relaxing afternoon with another friend; the past couple of days have been very scary indeed, but at least another confrontation that would have been extremely stressful was avoided earlier today on the advice of a very wise priest.

It is horribly unfair when good, caring people like the one we are thinking of try their utmost to help others in need, only to get their efforts thrown back in their faces in the form of vile, totally unjustified accusations and ranting. But without the support of true friends (of whom I know you are one) it would be even harder for them to bear the shit that this cold hard world throws at them.

The welcome page on LiveJournal says "Go have fun." LJ shouldn't be turned into a platform for taunts and attacks by false friends and anonymous cowards; people shouldn't have to delete their journals to avoid that sort of thing, and they shouldn't have to slink furtively about the streets of their own town for fear of being surprised by those who hate them without reason. Aargh!

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	From: baratron	Date: 4th May 2006 15:58 (UTC)		(Link)

I try to be a true friend to everyone that I'd give that name to. The only times I talk about people behind their backs are either:
a) if I'm planning a surprise for them

or

b) if I need to have a difficult conversation with them, and need to formulate my thoughts and/or modulate my anger so I don't make the situation worse by saying the wrong thing, or dumping a load of raw emotion.

Of course I'm not perfect - no one is - but I try to be ethical in my dealings with other people. If I don't get on with someone, I'd rather avoid them than pretend to be their friend. I intensely dislike lying and being lied to (often, even including little white lies that supposedly save hurt - if I ask a friend for advice about whether an outfit looks good on me, I want to know if it's unflattering). Hypocrisy seems like almost the worst possible form of lying, because you're pretending to be someone's friend while actually stabbing them in the back. I don't understand how anyone in their right mind could ever do that to another human being. I empathise with people far too strongly to be able to treat them like my disposable puppets. Sometimes, this is itself a problem, if I empathise with someone so strongly I project my own feelings back onto them - but I'm trying to learn not to do that.

Here is a *hug* to pass on to our friend, and my best wishes for strength.

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	From: jy100	Date: 5th May 2006 16:05 (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks – that *hug* has now been passed on!

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