helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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Sunday driving on a Thursday afternoon.

In an attempt not to do anything useful with my life this evening, I've spent a few hours going through purity tests. Apart from the sexual ones (which I can't really be bothered to fill in, and tend to use more as checklists for things I want to do in the future), there are some "interesting" ones out there. Clearly plenty of other people have been bored before me :)

The NetSex purity test amused me because of the question: "Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with your sysop or sysadmin?" (well sure - hasn't everyone?). The IRC purity test features the questions: "Have you ever had netsex with a bot?" and "Have you ever had an IRC meet turn into an orgy?" *laugh* (No, and yes, if you care).

I fell over laughing at the Purity of Mind test at question 30, which asks "Do you relate REALLY well to characters in Kevin Smith movies?", and questions 77 and 78: "Are you vaguely afraid of large, pointed objects or really big holes in the ground? Are you intrigued by them?" *snort*.

Then there's the Purity test for people with large vocabularies, which is just disturbing (and I need to buy a bigger dictionary).

And various "are you weird?" tests, many of which seem to feature the same questions. The better ones are The Colouring Outside The Lines purity test, Are You Cruel and Unusual? and The Freak Test. The nuggets of truth from those tests which apply particularly to me are:
  • Do you talk in Vague Specific? (example: "Hey, you know that stuff, where things happen, and then there are other things, with stuff?")
  • Have you ever used the prefixes "über-", "quasi-", or "meta" for any reason?
  • Do you regularly talk about fictional characters as if you knew them in real life?
  • Do you get handed flyers for raves everywhere you go just because of how you dress?
  • Have you ever flipped through static channels on TV and assigned emotions to each different kind of static?
  • Do you alphabetize everything possible (refrigerator contents, cds, etc) of yours and all your friends?
  • Have you ever asked passerby for directions to a landmark you were standing in front of?
  • Do you ever get confused as to what is your nickname and what is your real name?
  • Have you and a friend of a different race worn matching outfits and insisted to everyone that you were identical twins?
  • Do you like to go into 24 hour stores at 2 AM and buy really strange combinations of things just to see the reaction of the clerk (e.g. razor blades, condoms and light bulbs)?
  • Do you say "excuse me" when you bump into inanimate objects in public?


Then finally, it was time for me to take The 500 Point Nerdity Test, which concluded that I am 44.2% nerd pure (55.8% nerd corrupt). Sounds about right :)

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