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why arguing is a good thing, sometimes. - helen-louise — LiveJournal
baratron
baratron
why arguing is a good thing, sometimes.
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maniackatie From: maniackatie Date: 8th December 2006 05:05 (UTC) (Link)
Not like it matters nowadays, but I had to learn a similar lesson when dating my ex. We were together for five years +, so it only made sense that, sooner or later, we'd run into disagreements. As you said, life isn't all happy-go-lucky, dancing-through-a-field-of-flowers-holding-hands, being madly-in-love-24/7, etc. It's odd how many of us expect that in a relationship, though - to never argue, or have something classified as a "fight". You have one argument and someone is bound to pop the question "Are we breaking up?", which totally goes against the whole point of commitment in a relationship. If you can't have a fight, then work through it afterwards without feeling every time like your world is shattering (because arguing in such a way is clearly not normal for "stable" relationships.. blah), what kind of relationship do you have?

Adam didn't "sulk" or anything, but he seemed to hold onto hurt feelings for extended periods of time. He didn't vocalize it to me, but say three months down the road I'd hear from another friend that he was -still- pondering over an argument we'd had in the past and questioning the stability of our relationship. It drove me insane because I felt like he was never being honest with me. Truth of the matter was, though, he came from a family that didn't fight. Ever. At least, not by usual standards. A "fight" in his family was muttered words under your breath, while a "fight" in mine generally involved two or more people yelling obscenities at the top of their lungs, stomping around the house, banging things, and sometimes throwing and/or breaking stuff... Dunno if that makes my family "unstable" or just plain normal, but at least I knew how to handle an argument and not let it destroy me. Most of the time.
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