helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

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A letter to my metabolism.

Dear metabolism,

When the hell are you going to get with the program and realise you need to work harder to keep me warm? The non-consensual weight loss thing happened last year and I froze my arse off in clothes that were too big all of last winter. I did think you'd have figured out by now what size our body is and how much natural insulation we have, but obviously not. It'd be really nice if you could speed up, or whatever, so I don't have to sit here in a centrally-heated room wearing underwear, a vest, long-sleeved t-shirt. two jumpers, leggings, a thick cordruoy skirt, socks, slippers, a blanket and a hat just to stop myself from actively shivering. Mammals are supposed to be warm-blooded, damnit.

No love,
Tags: moaning, my evil gall bladder
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