helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

  • Mood:

missing people who don't exist

Less ill, but still very sad. I was hoping the depression would have gone away by now, or at least eased a bit. If anything, it's worse. There's a whole load of nebulous feelings that I can't put words to yet.

Last night I went to bed early and slept until very late - because I was depressed and couldn't find anything I wanted to do, rather than because I needed the sleep. And I had a dream that, rather than being an only child, I was one of the middle children of 8. My parents were not quite the parents I have in real life, and it was not quite the world we currently live in - nor was it the one I grew up in. But now I feel even more lonely, because I'm missing the siblings I had in the dream who don't exist.
Tags: dreams
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