helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

  • Mood:

no spoons for you, no BU

I managed to have a full-blown anxiety attack last night, of the type I haven't had since we moved out of the flat in June 2004. (Not that the flat made me panicky, just that my improvement in mental health happened around the same time.) I am currently panicky and upset, and embarrassed about the thing I got upset about. And still randomly tearful.

I also have a period - again. I'm sure it's too early. *looks at livejournal*. No, exactly 28 days after the last one. Bah. I suppose this explains why my bra was far too tight the past few days and why I was so ridiculously bloated and self-loathing on Thursday. Oh, and possibly why I was clumsy to the point of falling over at the weekend, and also why I had severe house dysmorphic disorder on Friday night ("I hate this house, we're never going to get all the DIY finished, and we need to move. NOW"). My god, I hate the progesterone-dominant part of my cycle. Give me oestrogen and happy hypomania any day.

And, the thing is - this is premenstrual syndrome LIGHT compared to what I used to have. You don't know PMS until you have premenstrual dysphoric disorder and end up in A&E because you're psychotic. Temporarily hating the house and feeling fat and ugly is nothing compared to your partner having to take a carving knife off you because you've been attempting to cut off your belly.
Tags: icky girlstuff, mental health
Subscribe

  • Several bits make a post

    Yesterday and today, I've been wanting to talk to people but I have absolutely no spare energy with which to do so. I have reverted to taking 2000 iu…

  • WTB: Concentration

    Does anyone have a concentration span I could borrow? Turns out that my physiotherapy course and poster presentation don't actually clash, because…

  • Still alive.

    Urgh. I switched on my computer in the hope I might write something, but I just don't have the spoons. I've been like this for weeks - not really…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 4 comments