helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Mood:

no spoons for you, no BU

I managed to have a full-blown anxiety attack last night, of the type I haven't had since we moved out of the flat in June 2004. (Not that the flat made me panicky, just that my improvement in mental health happened around the same time.) I am currently panicky and upset, and embarrassed about the thing I got upset about. And still randomly tearful.

I also have a period - again. I'm sure it's too early. *looks at livejournal*. No, exactly 28 days after the last one. Bah. I suppose this explains why my bra was far too tight the past few days and why I was so ridiculously bloated and self-loathing on Thursday. Oh, and possibly why I was clumsy to the point of falling over at the weekend, and also why I had severe house dysmorphic disorder on Friday night ("I hate this house, we're never going to get all the DIY finished, and we need to move. NOW"). My god, I hate the progesterone-dominant part of my cycle. Give me oestrogen and happy hypomania any day.

And, the thing is - this is premenstrual syndrome LIGHT compared to what I used to have. You don't know PMS until you have premenstrual dysphoric disorder and end up in A&E because you're psychotic. Temporarily hating the house and feeling fat and ugly is nothing compared to your partner having to take a carving knife off you because you've been attempting to cut off your belly.
Tags: icky girlstuff, mental health

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