The first thing I hate about menstruation is the way the extra... fluid... messes up my "need to pee" meter. Last night I woke up approximately every hour thinking that I needed to pee. At one point I actually managed to stagger to the bathroom, pee, then fall asleep sitting on the loo! Only momentarily, because it's me and ability to sleep in strange places is basically non-existent, but still alarming. As a result of this I am absolutely shattered today. Which I don't need on a work day. Argh.
The second thing I hate about menstruation is the pain and the fact that I can't take any wretched NSAIDs, which counts out the most effective period pain meds. I have been alternating paracetamol with 15 or 30 mg of dihydrocodeine, which together at least stop me screaming continuously for 24 hours even if I do still feel nasty. Yesterday I even managed to be Very Clever and ate a salad of raw leaves plus a pizza absolutely covered in vegetables with no cheese, an apple complete with skin, a packet of dried strawberries and some innocent smoothie. As a result of all that fibre I was not completely constipated today! Which at least is a result.
The third thing I hate about menstruation is clumpy days. Today my uterus is doing that thing of no flow at all for a few hours followed by GRATUITOUS GUSHING that soaks through pads for an hour, followed by nothing again. It's annoying and unpredictable. Also, while I don't mind bleeding (yes, I freak out when I have a cut, but experience of bleeding for a week and not dying has taught me that Menstrual Blood Is Different), I don't like what else comes out as well. Clots of red blood aren't too bad, they're just blood that's dried up a bit. Clots of black blood are a bit more unpleasant, as clots of black blood coming out of another orifice down there could mean you have cancer. And the stuff that looks for all the world like lumps of raw meat DISTURBS ME IMMENSELY. I recognise that menstrual lining is internal tissue and we are basically made of meat, but still... I DON'T LIKE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY PRIVATE PARTS!
Now that I have ranted disgustingly about the most horrible part of being female, I shall shut up for another month or so. Blargh.