helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

angsting and mope!

Fingers crossed, I'm feeling better emotionally. Carbamazepine really is a wonder drug for me, which is why I keep persisting with it despite its evilness and side-effects. Mostly calmed down about the idiots at college thanks to many supportive comments (in particular, from the mental health support group I go to - those people rock), plus the knowledge that I only have to put up with them for a few more weeks. Now anxious about other stuff to do with college :/ Why can I never just relax and get on with it?

Tonight I've been downloading exam papers from the college internet. I don't like written exams at the best of times, and two of my courses don't have any coursework, so they're 100% exam. Argh. And the past papers have too many of the sort of questions that send me into a frothing panic. For example, "Write a detailed account of platinum anti-cancer drugs, focusing on drug design and the mode of action. (20 marks)". On the basis that I walk into an exam room and have my brain empty, I can't cope with questions that have so few clues in. I like questions that are broken down into lots of steps: part i, 4 marks. part ii, 6 marks. part iii, 5 marks. part iv, 5 marks. At least that way if your brain goes numb you can still get some marks.

Going to bed soon. Ridiculously tired this weekend, not helped by the pain in my head. I think I've had a headache in my left eye since Wednesday, although it might have been since Tuesday. Probably a sinus headache caused by impacted snot from large amounts of crying. Bah.

Also, I need to write a livejournal entry about fluffiness, my friends, and fun things I've been doing lately instead of all this angsting and mope. And foods I've been eating. Mmm.
Tags: bipolar, college

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