helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

  • Mood:

shuffling like a zombie

Argh.

Tuesday night - took Zopiclone nice and early and crashed out for 10 hours, in which time Richard says I did not move at all. (Although he wasn't worried because I was obviously still breathing). Had strange but pleasant-enough dreams.

Wednesday night - took Zopiclone a bit too late (i.e. after I was already tired enough to sleep), and slept awfully - waking up every 2 hours or so at first, then at increasing intervals from 8ish until my alarm went off at 12.30. Apparently I kept waking up shouting, which is never a good sign. Had bad dreams and eventually woke up having a panic attack. Managed to get myself into college a mere hour late by virtue of LOUD MUSIC in my ears to block out the outside world, and sitting down whenever the urge to pass out or puke got too strong. 

Thursday night - took Zopiclone early. Crashed out and slept reasonably well, but still woke up periodically needing to pee or because I was itchy. Appear to have the delightful and mysterious rash of maybe carbamazepine back again, yay - again, starting a week after I increased the dose. Hoping this is a transient effect and will go away once my body is used to 400 mg. Currently been up for over 3 hours but sorely tempted to go back to bed. Neither happy nor feeling like a human being at the moment.

I'd say "kill me now", but I have been ordered by Freezepop to "hang in there". And the last thing any deranged fangirl wants to do is make their favourite band unhappy, right? So it's one step forward, another step back - and hoping for an overall slow lurch in the right direction.

I'm sorry that I'm so tied up with my own damn problems at the moment. Am being a lousy friend :( But exams are 21st May until 8th June, and after they're over I should have a lot more time & energy for other people.
Tags: aargh, drugs being annoying, not a morning person
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