helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Mood:

not feeling very wonderful

Erk. I think I'm in an obsessing about death sort of mood.

I got freaked out yesterday because of Blaze Bayley's wife. Blaze Bayley used to be the singer of Wolfsbane, and then he joined Iron Maiden while Bruce Dickinson was doing other stuff. He & his wife went to see Iron Maiden at Twickenham in July the same day that Richard & I & several other friends did. The day after, his wife collapsed with a brain haemorrage. She was in a coma for 3 months and they thought she might eventually recover, but then she had a stroke and died. It's just so terrifying that an apparently healthy person can collapse like that without warning.

I tend to have random terror about the people I know who are apparently healthy, because almost everyone I know is sick and/or disabled in some way. Part of my brain can't quite believe that there are healthy people in the world. So I worry that they must have some secret defect that will kill or horribly injure them in the worst possible way. There is some logic there, except I'm not quite sure what it is.

And today I found out that the drummer of 3 Colours Red died last year. One source says "a gastro-intestinal haemorrage", the other says "liver failure". Could be the usual drinking oneself to death, or could be another random defect striking. Impossible to tell from here. But there's nothing quite like finding out a musician from a band that you used to love died last year and you didn't even know.

None of this is getting my work done, but I haven't been able to concentrate on work since about 8pm. I don't know why I'm still up. I should have gone to bed hours ago.
Tags: mental health, music

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