helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Mood:

A bit stressed.

I wanted to write a bit about how I'm feeling, but realised it wouldn't be much different to what I said yesterday. Right now, I'm worried and stressed about a couple of little things - mainly, whether or not I'm going to wake up in time to do them. The ideal solution would be to simply stay up, 'cos then I'd know I'd be awake, but if I do that I'll be really irritable in the middle of the afternoon and shattered this evening, and it won't help the problem in the long term. Nothing helps the problem in the long term.

I have to go and talk to people at work today. I took a week and a half off to go to Brussels and deal with alt.polycon, but I was ill before I went to Brussels and cancelled some shifts then, and when I came back I was too busy to book more shifts. Then my bag got nicked and I lost work's phone number, so couldn't get in contact with them. All in all, the 10 days has turned into nearly a month, which means not only am I short of money, but they might well think I don't work there anymore, and I might not be able to get much work this week because I'm not trained up on any of the current projects. Ringing up didn't gain me anything, so I'm going to go in person and find the right person to talk to. But this is scary. I'm good at some kinds of confrontations, but not others.

What else? Oh, I have to take a faulty cable back to a shop, buy a mint-condition copy of a game for someone I'm trading with on GameTz, pick up a prescription (ooh, I'd forgotten about that one) and a few other things. Still rebuilding my mobile phone database - I have 65 numbers on there now, but most of those are duplicates (as most people I know have three different numbers - home, work & mobile). And still rebuying the contents of my bag. This theft has left me chronically short of money for so many reasons.

I'm depressed and in my "jetlag" sleep phase, but I'm not sure how much of the sleep problem is caused by the depression and how much of the depression is caused by the sleep disorder. And I'm not sure how much of either are due to stress from the theft and worry about money (I've basically lost £50 from my Switch card because you have to pay the first £50 run up before the card is reported, £50 from rebuying the contents of my bag, and about £150 from not working last week. This does add up). I'd like a warm jacuzzi and some people to hug, but I can't really afford to go out and see people apart from tonight. Ack.

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