helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

  • Mood:

My vacuum cleaner's blowing out instead of sucking in.

Today my life is a fucking disaster & I want to stab everyone in the head. I was supposed to be attending a lecture on research very similar to what I'm doing, at UCL, at 1pm.

Woke up at 9.50am with Richard's alarm. Couldn't go back to sleep. Got up & had a Proper Breakfast (!). Arrived at Kingston station just in time to miss the 11:34 train - could have caught it if I didn't need the bloody ramp to get onto the train :/ Got the 11:49 okay. Arrived at Waterloo at 12:15, so far making very good progress. It's normally no more than 15 minutes from Waterloo to UCL by taxi... Sat in the taxi queue for 45 minutes. Got in the taxi just after 1pm. Arrived at UCL at 1.50 pm. All because of the student & anti-cuts demonstrations that I didn't know were happening today, which blocked up the roads for people like me too crippled to use the bloody Tube.

Didn't even attempt to get to the last 10 minutes of the lecture. Lurked outside to apologise to Philip & the person running it & the speaker. That took a huge amount of courage & I'm really quite shaky now. Want to do nothing more than crawl home & back into bed, but seeing as it cost me £26 (!) to get in, I might as well stay here. Guess I'm having a protein bar, "fruit flakes" (TM) & ginger biscuits for lunch, since I only have £1.88 left in my purse. Unless Richard happens to have no work to do (lol!) & can come up with food...

I "should" have just gone into London as soon as I got up - but I didn't bloody know I needed to. Really annoyed that I didn't check the internet news when I woke up - but I didn't know I needed to. I even generally support the demonstrations taking place. It's just that I wish I'd known they were happening e.g. last night before I went to bed, because now I'm fucking tired & stressed & grumpy & hungry & headachy, & didn't make it to the lecture I was supposed to be at, & would quite like to fall over and die, thank you very much.

Edit: Day has only improved... Headache didn't go away, so didn't dare go into the lab because solvents. The bus driver on the way back failed to see that I existed despite me pressing the "disabled" button to get off, and a total stranger decided to fall over me at Waterloo station because she wasn't looking. Ready to fall over dead now.

Tags: aargh, anxiety, college, london, not a morning person, via ljapp, wheelchairs
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