I am Okay because I'm well-enough medicated that part of my brain keeps thinking rationally even when other parts are being crazy. But it's not pleasant. When I first went onto carbamazepine (an antiepileptic drug used as a mood stabiliser), I didn't have any mental PMS symptoms at all for about 2 years. It was lovely! I still fell off stepstools and down the stairs and cut myself accidentally through sheer clumsiness (why is that a symptom of PMS? Dunno, but it happens every month for me), but I didn't randomly hate myself or my body or want to die. Then it gradually crept back, but only every other month. In the same way, that menstrual cycle is always worse for hypomania mid-cycle, pain and bleeding at ovulation, and period pain. Does one of my ovaries fire up more hormones than the other one?
Normal service will be resumed within the next 3 days. Hopefully as soon as possible, because I'm not sure I can take much more of this mentalism. Argh. Hugs welcomed, advice not welcomed (since I've already explored all of the treatment options with my doctor).