helen-louise (baratron) wrote,

  • Mood:

pain and numbness

I ache all over. Feel physically weak. My hands and arms in particular feel weighed down with lead. Achy - almost pins and needles-y - an interesting combination of pain and numbness.

I would be much more concerned about this if I didn't know the reasons for it. I've just started taking a couple of new antidepressive meds, and they all have stuff like this as side-effects. Added to which, it's important to take these drugs at the same time each day, but I've been having trouble doing so because I feel ridiculously tired. I don't know whether I'm genuinely tired because trying to get myself better involves a lot of effort, or if it's psychosomatic tiredness generated by some part of my brain to keep me sedated so that I don't cause myself injury. It could be both. But it's not very helpful to still be asleep at a time when I need to be awake, eating something and taking the next pill.

I'm walking around at the moment, stretching various muscles and rubbing myself, just trying to ease this crampy feeling. Nothing seems to help much, although I've got some relief from closing my hand around a bunch of keys and feeling the spikiness, or digging my fingernails into my palms. No, I'm not going to do anything heavier than that - don't need to "cut myself to see if I still feel" - I know I will feel again once I've got into a more regular routine and the side-effects have died down a bit. It's still disconcerting, though. I could do with a massage.

In other news, Alexa and I went to the London Aquarium on Thursday, and it was fun although I was falling asleep for some of it. They no longer have an octopus!, which is sad - I don't know where he's gone -if it was to another aquarium or if he died. I don't actually know a huge amount about octopi, such as how long they normally live for. But I could watch rays for hours, and there were a number of other interesting fish there, such as sturgeons which are apparently not much changed from prehistoric fish, and stonefish, which look just like rocks, and are apparently very toxic to people who tread on them by accident. We also managed to send off our BiCon registration forms - hooray!

Slept lots on Friday, and on Saturday I went to Chessington with Richard for a while. Didn't get there too early or spend very long, but we got to go on the new Vampire rollercoaster. I don't think the track has been changed much from the old Vampire, but riding in open-bottomed carriages instead of closed ones and the increased speed makes a noticeable difference to the ride. It's not thrilling or intense in the same way that, say, Nemesis is, but it's a good, fun coaster if you don't have to queue more than 25 minutes for it.

Yesterday was the anniversary of Richard's mother's death, and also Mothers' Day in the US, but not here, thankfully. Richard had wanted to go to her grave for some time but we hadn't got round to it, mostly because she is buried in a little village with no nearby train line and not much public transport. So we got Peter to drive us up there and put some flowers on her grave. Afterwards, we had a really good cream tea, and then came home for normal Sunday evening games-playing.

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