helen-louise (baratron) wrote,
helen-louise
baratron

  • Mood:

Not coping

I am very, very stressed.

My husband is being sent to Canada next week and we still don't know when. It's "only" 3 or 4 days, but he is my full-time carer, and it's hard for me to manage without him.

And after I sent a slightly passive-aggressive letter to the Pain Management Clinic at Kingston Hospital, they phoned me at 8.30 this morning to say they'd completely run out of capacity, but I could go to Queen Mary's in Roehampton to get my back fixed. Kingston Hospital is 10 minutes walk from my house, whereas Queen Mary's is 25 minutes on a bus. The appointment is for 1.30pm on Saturday 18th January.

I am now having a minor panic attack because I have a really bad hospital phobia, so it is extremely non-trivial for me to go somewhere that I don't know. Also, what I'm having done to my back counts as "surgery", which is freaking me out even more.

Also, I have had period pain FROM HELL for 3 days, which is also reducing my ability to cope. I am also about 2 months behind with my academic work, since I have been too ill to think since 3rd December. I thought I'd be well enough to get going on Tuesday, then the period pain started, meaning I've had to dope myself up to the eyeballs (and STILL HURT).

Fortunately, I am seeing my Disability Mentor (a.k.a. mental health professional) tomorrow. Nonetheless, I could do with expressions of sympathy, and offers of people to help me out with finding food next week.
Tags: aargh, medical phobia, my weird medical stuff, pain
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