Like a Sensible Person Who Understands Electricity, I went to the fuse box. Where I found that the kitchen ring main fuse had not tripped. I flicked it to off anyway, waited a few seconds and back to on, but there is still no electricity to the kitchen. Richard reckons it might need a new circuit breaker.
Even better: the fridge/freezer is plugged in somewhere behind itself, and it's too damned heavy for me to move. So I can't actually unplug it and move it onto the downstairs ring main until Richard gets home from work.
Also, because this month's period decided to turn up early, I am having PMS during bleeding. Which is just not fair, because I feel awful physically AND mentally at the same time.
The period being early is actually not a bad thing because we're camping again this weekend, and it would be good to have mostly finished bleeding before dealing with portaloos. But I am having really bad self-hatred and urges to be dead - which is just great. Don't be alarmed, I know I'll be fine in a day or two. This happens pretty much every month, just not normally quite this badly. My PMS fucking sucks.